Finally.. made it to the “beach”

and I’ve got beach in quotation marks (“beach”) because it’s really not a real beach, but more of a man made beach.  But it’s all we’ve got in the middle of a province that’s all prairies, so I’ll take it.  It was a long weekend up here in Canada, so I had an extra long weekend, with Monday off.  It was nice, well not all nice.  I did work 8 hours overtime on Saturday and Sunday, so I was very pleased when I didn’t have to work on Monday and the weather was nice enough to go to the beach.  Although it wasn’t super hot, I think we reached 25 degrees and it was a beautiful sunny day.

The odd thing about being at the beach yesterday?  I felt SO uncomfortable in my bathing suit.  And it actually wasn’t a real two piece bikini but more of a sports bra and bikini bottom combination.  I don’t know why, but in my head I just felt so embarrassed and very self conscious with what I was wearing.  I felt chubby and out of shape.  Which is absolutely crazy!  I know that I lacked confidence and I’m not sure why.  I’m in the best shape of my life, not yet where I want to be but I’ve never felt so strong and I think my body reflects all the hard work I’ve been putting into Crossfit lately.  So I just don’t know why my mind couldn’t see it yesterday.  I kept my tank top and shorts over top my swim wear, except for when I was lying down and trying to tan.  If I can to get up and walk around, the clothes came back on.  Definitely need to give my head a shake.  It’s very frustrating to think this way about myself.    Must think differently, must feel more confident and proud of my body.

Crossfit has been going well, clean eating? still struggling a bit with it.  I’m down to 30 days before my bday.. eek!  And I really should try harder.  I’m happy to say that I’ve managed to cut out sugar from my coffee, super excited about that because I was always one to sweeten my coffee, and I always felt that I couldn’t have coffee without it sweetened but I can! yay!!  Not alot of bad munching just making poorer decision, for example post workout dinner today was a package of instant noodles 😦  Not high in the calories but definitely high in sodium and just overall not the healthiest choice.  UGH!  I drive myself crazy sometimes.. hehe.. Oh well.

Anyway with my birthday being just 30 days away, I do want to try harder.  I have been taking progress pictures, but honestly, there’s not much progress being made.

Must focus..  must feel confident.

Must get to bed… night everyone!


One thought on “Finally.. made it to the “beach”

  1. leannenalani says:

    I also need to rethink sugar. I’ll be limiting my dairy, too. One yogurt instead of 3 a day! Sodium can be challenging but sticking to whole foods seems to cut it out naturally.

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