Finally.. made it to the “beach”

and I’ve got beach in quotation marks (“beach”) because it’s really not a real beach, but more of a man made beach.  But it’s all we’ve got in the middle of a province that’s all prairies, so I’ll take it.  It was a long weekend up here in Canada, so I had an extra long weekend, with Monday off.  It was nice, well not all nice.  I did work 8 hours overtime on Saturday and Sunday, so I was very pleased when I didn’t have to work on Monday and the weather was nice enough to go to the beach.  Although it wasn’t super hot, I think we reached 25 degrees and it was a beautiful sunny day.

The odd thing about being at the beach yesterday?  I felt SO uncomfortable in my bathing suit.  And it actually wasn’t a real two piece bikini but more of a sports bra and bikini bottom combination.  I don’t know why, but in my head I just felt so embarrassed and very self conscious with what I was wearing.  I felt chubby and out of shape.  Which is absolutely crazy!  I know that I lacked confidence and I’m not sure why.  I’m in the best shape of my life, not yet where I want to be but I’ve never felt so strong and I think my body reflects all the hard work I’ve been putting into Crossfit lately.  So I just don’t know why my mind couldn’t see it yesterday.  I kept my tank top and shorts over top my swim wear, except for when I was lying down and trying to tan.  If I can to get up and walk around, the clothes came back on.  Definitely need to give my head a shake.  It’s very frustrating to think this way about myself.    Must think differently, must feel more confident and proud of my body.

Crossfit has been going well, clean eating? still struggling a bit with it.  I’m down to 30 days before my bday.. eek!  And I really should try harder.  I’m happy to say that I’ve managed to cut out sugar from my coffee, super excited about that because I was always one to sweeten my coffee, and I always felt that I couldn’t have coffee without it sweetened but I can! yay!!  Not alot of bad munching just making poorer decision, for example post workout dinner today was a package of instant noodles 😦  Not high in the calories but definitely high in sodium and just overall not the healthiest choice.  UGH!  I drive myself crazy sometimes.. hehe.. Oh well.

Anyway with my birthday being just 30 days away, I do want to try harder.  I have been taking progress pictures, but honestly, there’s not much progress being made.

Must focus..  must feel confident.

Must get to bed… night everyone!

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One thought on “Finally.. made it to the “beach”

  1. leannenalani says:

    I also need to rethink sugar. I’ll be limiting my dairy, too. One yogurt instead of 3 a day! Sodium can be challenging but sticking to whole foods seems to cut it out naturally.

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