and I’ve got beach in quotation marks (“beach”) because it’s really not a real beach, but more of a man made beach. But it’s all we’ve got in the middle of a province that’s all prairies, so I’ll take it. It was a long weekend up here in Canada, so I had an extra long weekend, with Monday off. It was nice, well not all nice. I did work 8 hours overtime on Saturday and Sunday, so I was very pleased when I didn’t have to work on Monday and the weather was nice enough to go to the beach. Although it wasn’t super hot, I think we reached 25 degrees and it was a beautiful sunny day.
The odd thing about being at the beach yesterday? I felt SO uncomfortable in my bathing suit. And it actually wasn’t a real two piece bikini but more of a sports bra and bikini bottom combination. I don’t know why, but in my head I just felt so embarrassed and very self conscious with what I was wearing. I felt chubby and out of shape. Which is absolutely crazy! I know that I lacked confidence and I’m not sure why. I’m in the best shape of my life, not yet where I want to be but I’ve never felt so strong and I think my body reflects all the hard work I’ve been putting into Crossfit lately. So I just don’t know why my mind couldn’t see it yesterday. I kept my tank top and shorts over top my swim wear, except for when I was lying down and trying to tan. If I can to get up and walk around, the clothes came back on. Definitely need to give my head a shake. It’s very frustrating to think this way about myself. Must think differently, must feel more confident and proud of my body.
Crossfit has been going well, clean eating? still struggling a bit with it. I’m down to 30 days before my bday.. eek! And I really should try harder. I’m happy to say that I’ve managed to cut out sugar from my coffee, super excited about that because I was always one to sweeten my coffee, and I always felt that I couldn’t have coffee without it sweetened but I can! yay!! Not alot of bad munching just making poorer decision, for example post workout dinner today was a package of instant noodles 😦 Not high in the calories but definitely high in sodium and just overall not the healthiest choice. UGH! I drive myself crazy sometimes.. hehe.. Oh well.
Anyway with my birthday being just 30 days away, I do want to try harder. I have been taking progress pictures, but honestly, there’s not much progress being made.
Must focus.. must feel confident.
Must get to bed… night everyone!