Defeated :(

There were many factors that kept me from completing my 18 mile run yesterday.  FIrst, I was up later than I had planned, so I wasn’t as well rested as I would have liked.  Second, I definitely did not eat to fuel my body.  It’s definitely difficult for me to “carb up”.  I was never really on a strict eating plan, but I was more aware of what I was eating and I did limit my carbs sometimes.  But thinking about eating more carbs makes me feel like I’m undoing the progress I’ve made.  I know that this is silly to think and I really can’t allow myself to think this way, it’s not healthy and it’s not helpful in meeting my marathon goal.  So definitely I was low on energy.  Third… I woke up to snow.. gusting winds.. and I was not happy.  So I decided to skip the outdoor run and go back to running on the treadmill.  A few Sundays ago, I ran 14 miles on a treadmill, so 18 miles should be do-able.. right?

Ahh.. but then there’s the pain.. which yet again returned, this time around the 5 mile mark. It’s extremely frustrating to have to deal with this.  It’s frustrating because I have no control over this injury, and it really just sucks.  My hubby is telling me to really reconsider my plans for running this marathon because my body just isn’t cooperating.

For some reason, this pain doesn’t seem like an excuse to not run.  I feel like I should just “suck it up buttercup”, because “what doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger” right?  I know I commented that not completing the 18 mile run this past Sunday would prompt me to re-consider my marathon goal, but I just can’t get myself even think about not running.

Hubby said I could focus on running a sub-2 hour 1/2 marathon.. and I think that is an awesome goal and definitely something I want to aim for.  But if my body right now can’t even get pat 8 miles, how am I going to get to 13.1 miles?

I’m going to a minor injury sports clinic tomorrow morning, hopefully to get x-rays done and some help/advice on what I can do to get back to running.

Fingers crossed that there’s still hope.

With not having control over this injury, it does make me think about future goals, specifically the goal to push myself towards my best physique.  With that goal, I have control over what I put in my body and how hard I work out.  I like that idea.


One thought on “Defeated :(

  1. cathyo says:

    That sucks. I know exactly what you are going through. When I was training for my full about 5 years ago, I got some crazy hip/hamstring injury that just came out of the blue about 4 weeks before the race. I had physio, massage, chiropractor and nothing helped. I basically only did a few more short runs and tried to rest it. I probably shouldn’t have done the race, but I had worked so hard I just couldn’t not run it. There was no way I was training like that again, so i ran/walked/hobbled it. Not pretty, but i finished. And after I had that hip/hamstring injury for almost 4 YEARS!!! I have no idea what it was and nothing seemed to make it better. Even now it comes up every once in a while…so be careful, listen to your body, you don’t want to do permanent damage. But i know exactly how you feel…

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