Why do I tempt myself?

Around 10am today, I had a craving.  So I headed down to the cafeteria to see if there was anything there I’d want to munch on.  Checked out the hashbrowns and they weren’t looking very crispy and nothing on the pastries shelf looked good either.  So I decided on a bag of Lay’s Salt & Vinegar chips.  And so, as you can see in the picture below, the bag of chips is sitting on my desk, beside my healthier snack options: blueberries and almonds.  Now if I were really serious about staying away from junk food, I would have stopped myself from going down to the cafeteria at all.  But nope, I still headed down, thinking that I’d pick up the chips, just in case.  And really, what harm would it do to eat a bag of chips?  Sure it’s 210 calories, 14 g of fat and 21 g of carbs that I really don’t need, but I did run for 30 minutes this morning, so that should offset the bag of chips right?!  Oh the thoughts and excuses that were running through my head as I headed back up to my desk with the bag of chips.

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Anyway, I thought I’d start munching on the blueberries and almonds first.  Let that fill me up, then I’d think about the chips again.

It’s now 12pm – lunch time and I’ve successfully managed to keep the bag of chips closed and on my desk.  I’m eating my packed lunch of a spinach omelette and had a piece of dark chocolate, and I think I’m good for the next few hours.

So now what’s left on my desk?

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The plan is to take the bag of chips home for the kiddies to enjoy.

Great way to start the day…

My alarm went off at 5:45am and I was so close to just turning off my alarm and going back to bed, but a part of me know that I’d feel much better if I got out of bed and headed out for a run.  So without giving it too much thought and not allowing myself to make any excuses, I put on my running shoes and headed out of the door.

It was a beautiful morning for a run, warm with a nice cool breeze.  I haven’t run since last year, so I was a little worried that I’d struggle.  Thankfully it wasn’t as difficult as I thought.  I ran for a total of 25 minutes and I don’t know what the distance was, but it was my first run in a long time and I did it!  I didn’t want to push myself too long or too far but I’ll definitely start increasing the time in the upcoming days/weeks.

Really hoping I can continue with the morning runs.

 

WOW.. Kids are amazing..

especially when it comes to learning how to use new technologies.  My 3-year old son, just grabbed my Samsung Galaxy smartphone, started up YouTube and selected a video to watch.  What’s even more amazing, he turned the smartphone to landscape and shook it a little so that the video would resize.

Anyway, yesterday I had posted about making blueberry muffins.  I’m glad to say that there are three left out of the dozen we made.  I remember after the blueberries were tossed in and the batter was gently mixed I looked at the batter thinking it looked different from other muffin batters I’ve made in the past.  I took a quick sniff of the batter and thought that it also had a different scent that I wasn’t familiar with.  I wasn’t too concerned since the muffins baked nicely and they taste quite delicious.

Tonight the kids and I made kung pao shrimp which requires to dust the peeled shrimp with a bit of cornstarch.

Then it hit me…

I mixed up…

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for this…

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No wonder the texture and scent of the batter was slightly off.  I’m actually surprised that the muffins turned out as well as they did, considering I forgot to add the baking powder and put in cornstarch instead.

So today was another (in my mind) a carb load day.  For lunch I had the daily soup from the cafeteria at work.  Red Thai Curry.  One of my favorites, but definitely not the healthiest soup.

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Since yesterday I’ve had a really bad craving for extra crispy french fries and I know that if I’m going to buy fries, they need to be from VJ’s, which serve up (to me) the best home made fries.

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Just thinking about the fries right now, makes me wanna jump into the car and drive over to pick up a box of fresh, extra crispy fries.  I seriously don’t know why this craving is so strong.  It’s not even that time of the month (sorry TMI)

Anyway, I had the soup for lunch and when I came home I munch on some potato chips.  I did a quick work out and then ate some bbq steak and roasted broccoli, so that was a pretty good meal.  But I also munched on some popcorn… and … hmm.. I think that’s all that I ate today.  Oh and I did have a blueberry muffin.. made with cornstarch.. hehe..

So actually now that I’m typing out what I ate today, it doesn’t sound so bad.  I guess I could have been eating much healthier snacks.  I suspect tomorrow will be another day with the same french fry craving and weather permitting, maybe I just need to walk over to VJ’s and satisfy that craving so that I have it out of my system.

Or I just keep pushing that craving out of my mind.  Substitute that craving with healthier options like almonds or blueberries, or even whole wheat crackers.  I know that if I wait it out long enough, I’ll eventually get over the craving.

Maybe I should keep the thought of going to beach this weekend in my mind, and that should be sufficient to keep me away from those evil cravings.. shouldn’t it?

Healthy blueberry muffins…

It’s the least I can do with all the unhealthy eating I’ve been doing. I’ve come to realize that trying to stick to healthy eating during the summer months is going to be extremely difficult. Funny that this is the same season where the goal is to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. With all the events like sport  tournaments, fairs, bbqs and get togethers there’s never a shortage of good food. I still feel that I’m not eating huge amounts of bad food. A few mini donuts here, a burger there and french fries one of my biggest weaknesses. Tonight I thought I’d make some healthy blueberry muffins. Honey instead of sugar, whole wheat flour, and plain yogurt all helped make this treat a little healthier.
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Each day I try to make healthier food choices but I already know that I will have plenty of moments where I’m indulging.
I was able to get my hands on the TurboFire Workout DVDs and hope to start them this week.

If you’re going to indulge…

… make sure it’s something worth indulging on. More specifically make sure it’s worth a “cheat” meal. I remember when hubby was training for competitions, he allowed himself one cheat day a week. On this day he would indulge in foods that he was craving and he always insisted that cheat meals or days were necessary to help someone in training focused. For him at least it pushed him harder for the rest of the week and kept him on his strict diet since he knew that a cheat day was not too far away. I remember on these cheat days he would insist on the best desserts and the best not-so-healthy foods. It never made sense to me and I always thought that a slice of cheesecake was the same regardless of where you bought it. Boy was I wrong! When I started working out and following a meal plan, whenever I was tempted to indulge in a treat, I thought about the hard workouts, the long cardio sessions and really questioning whether that indulgence was worth it.  If I was going to have chocolate, I wanted the best tasting chocolate out there, regardless of the price.  And it does happen where I am mid-indulgence and asking myself why I’m even eating because the food isn’t even spectacular.  Then I feel grumpy thinking about the indulgence that just wasn’t worth it.
Today I had one of those not very spectacular indulgences. We went out for lunch today to celebrate a milestone delivery at work and I decided I’d have a slice of cheesecake. I knew that it wasn’t the best choice considering I already had chicken fingers and Caesar salad for my main course, but I thought it would be worth it and I’d have to make sure I made wiser meals choices for the remainder of the week and put in some extra time at the gym.

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The cheesecake looked delicious but unfortunately wasn’t very good. It was very coarse and not smooth and creamy at all. The strawberry reduction on top also didn’t taste very good to me.  Huge disappointment 😦

Thinking about this indulgence makes we want to go downstairs and workout.

Hoping I’ll feel better tomorrow.

First success…

in a long time, possibly 3 months.  Today was a good day.  I stuck to my meal plan, didn’t purchase any extra food, which means I didn’t spend any money and I also got a good work out in.  I didn’t get into work as early as I had hoped but I was only there for a half day.  T had an ear infection so I took her to the doctor’s in the afternoon.  I also managed to clean the living room blinds and wipe down the sofa.  

It’s almost bed time and I’m thinking I better get to bed soon, or the potato chips sitting in the pantry will start to taunt me and call my name.  Have I mentioned that the hubby is very supportive and motivating when it comes to my healthy eating and exercise goals?  He’s always trying to push me a little harder.  Then there are the times he wants to see me cheat a little, enjoy a treat.  Last night he had to pick up some brown sugar at Shoppers Drug Mart and when he came back he had a bag of kettle cooked sea salt potato chips.  These are my favorite potato chips and since it had been so long since I last had them (last year) he thought I should enjoy some.  Last night I gave into the craving and just had a handful.  They were good, so good.  And now thinking how well I did today, I’m very tempted to walk over to the pantry and have a few chips.  I really should go to bed or read.  Anything to help take my mind off the salty goodness that’s calling my name.

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Let’s see how long…

Before we start losing the lids on the newly purchased Ziploc containers. It’s like the sock disappearance mystery where the lids start to disappear and your left with a bunch of Ziploc containers that can’t be used. So today I replenished our cupboards with 30 new Ziploc containers.

The fridge is stocked and the menu plan for the week is set. I’ve got pineapple and cottage cheese for my daily snack as well as golden kiwi (so delicious!) And still have almonds to munch so I should be set for the week.

The goal for this week us simple: eat the lunch that I bring to work. As well to stick to one coffee from home. for a treat i’ve got some dark chocolate in my desk so I’ll have to keep that in mind in case I get hit with a craving for chocolate.

It’s been a long day and it will be a long week. Must stay focused.

Spending and budgets… Still working on it

When it comes to spending and budgets I know that I should be more careful with unnecessary purchases but every now and then I have those moments of weakness. Today I had a day full of weakness. The Bay was having a family and friends sale event which meant an additional 25% off your entire purchase – including sale and clearance items! I found a couple pairs of shoes (black pumps and black flats) that I will wear often and fit perfectly in wardrobe. And I also purchased some concealer and pressed powder.

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Coach flats – regular $168 sale – approx $80 including taxes

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Vince Camuto black pumps – regular $150 sale approx $70 including taxes

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MAC mineralize concealer and powder. cosmetics were an additional 10% off.

So it was a but of a shopping spree for me today. Of course prior to shopping for myself I made sure the kids had a gift for daddy.
The sale ends tomorrow and I’m very tempted to go back to the store to see if there are any good deals on clothing. Of course the practical side of me is telling myself to stay away and stop spending.

I really should try a little harder to spend less. I’m definitely still working on it.

Hard to hear the words…

but I really have no one to blame but myself.  During our workout last night, in between his encouraging words, hubby mentions “you’re not looking as lean”  I asked him what he meant exactly and he tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, just a casual comment.  Then he adds “you were leaner when you were doing more cardio”.  Ouch.  It hurt to hear the words but I knew that it was true.  I knew that my level of cardio was no where near the level when I first started working on my goal (Jan-Feb 2012).  Cardio now is almost non-existent.  I’ve had short periods where I’ve completed the Insanity workouts but I just haven’t been consistent.  And I know that I can’t expect to see any kind of improvement in my physique without putting the work in.

Here’s a little secret…  once a day, usually in the morning I’ll step into the bathroom, lift up my shirt to reveal my midsection and will give myself the “ok, I haven’t gained” confirmation pep talk.  Of course I’ll continue to stare at my midsection and wonder why it isn’t flatter or more defined.  haha.. funny isn’t it?  That I can still question the reasons behind my current physique even though I know exactly why my physique is where it’s at.  Then I continue my pep talk and remind myself that any time I feel the urge or craving to eat something I know I shouldn’t, I should just think back to that image of my midsection and how giving into that craving isn’t going to help my midsection lean out.

I don’t know what it is, but that image and the pep talk sometimes just doesn’t help.  And I actually know why that is.  When I first started this journey, I made fairly big changes in my eating and exercise routines.  It wasn’t gradual for me but something I jumped into.  I cut out all unhealthy foods and started exercising daily.  I remember times when hubby would tell me how impressed and how “hardcore” I was being with this lifestyle change.  And for two months I stuck to it and I did reach my goal.  Now, whenever I think about reaching my next goals I think to myself  “I did it once, I can do it again”.  It’s like I’m giving myself permission to indulge and slack off with my exercising with the thought that once I get serious about my goals again, I’ll be able to do it.  Easy.

So here’s the problem… I still haven’t set any goals.  A month or so ago, I had my measurements and fat percentage calculated, and I tried to set goals based on that.  Unfortunately I don’t think those goals were S.M.A.R.T goals.  With that being said, my first goal before anything else is to set my 2012 goals.

Work is my weakness…

and most of the time I find that I use it as my excuse to not work out.  Especially the past week and a half.

I am notorious at work for volunteering for pretty much every committee out there.  Right now I am part of the following groups:

  • Staff Club executive (encompasses entire company)
  • Fun Committee (encompasses I.T department only)
  • Innovation Working Group
  • Workplace Safety committee
  • Fire warden
  • Leadership Development Program (recently graduated)

Between all the committees, the organization of events and my regular work load (which is extremely heavy right now), I’m always running around trying to get things done and meet deadlines.  Not so much physically tired but more mentally tired.  And I hate to admit it, but this mental tiredness has (in my head) provided justification to not do any physical exercise.

Due to the lack of exercise, I am trying to stick to my healthy meal plan, but of course that didn’t go very well this week with the graduation celebrations and it didn’t go very well last week with the 2 day vacation trip.  Today went a little better and I have to admit that I had a moment of weakness.  I packed a lunch of homemade italian wedding soup (not the healthiest dish) and blackberries but was in a meeting until 12pm so by the time I sat down at my desk to eat I was starving!  I thought that I’d head down to the cafeteria to check out what they had and left with an order of their shepard’s pie, swimming in gravy.  I got back to my desk, ate my soup and realized it would be a big mistake to eat the shepard’s pie, so I left it alone and took it home for the hubby and kids to eat.  (secret… I hate the bread stick that came with it.. ssh!)  I told myself that I would head downstairs to the gym as soon as I got home from work, because I knew the minute I sat down, it would be a struggle to get motivated to work out.

That was a partial fail.  I got home and napped for 30 minutes but did manage to make it to the gym and got a good shoulder work out in.  Followed my workout with a protein shake and now just taking it easy for the rest of the evening.

I realized today that I know 3 other ladies who’ve had kids in the past 3 years who are all working on their own get fit goals and it’s very inspiring to hear about their progress and to see how far they have come.  Their stories are very inspiring to me to and motivate me to get back on track and stay focused.  I’m looking forward to keeping up with their progress and hoping I can make some progress of my own.

So how am I going to address work being my weakness?  First thing that I need to do?  Tomorrow morning when I get into work, I am setting up a recurring 1hr meeting which I will dedicate to “me” time.  Whether it’s to step away from my desk to go for a walk, possibly head to the gym for a quick workout or to go for a massage, I think it’s something I need and deserve.  There are way too many days that I find myself sitting at my desk the entire day and never stepping out for a break.  This daily 1hr break will help with my energy levels and I’m hoping that it will help me re-focus on my health goals.

And second thing I need to do?  Stop volunteering for different committees and events.  I really don’t want to spread myself thin and have my personal life and family receive less attention.